Backpacker tales

Standard conversation between backpackers meeting for the first time:

"So where have you come from?"
"Peru."
"Oh wow, did you enjoy it? I´m going there next."
"Yeah, it was OK, but I much preferred Bolivia."
"How so?"
"Oh, more chilled out, the people are lovely, and it´s so cheap. What about you, how long have you been travelling?"
"Me? Oh, ten months now"
"Wow, a big trip then - round the world?"
"Yeah, one year altogether. You?"
"Three months, just South America. Where have you been so far?"
"Oh, India..."
"India, cool, how was it? I want to go there next..."
"Oh yeah brilliant, it´s really good fun if you just get over the culture shock thing. So yeah, there, China, South East Asia..."
"Favourite place so far?"
"Oh, almost certainly India. Stayed in places for, like, ten pence a night, did some voluntary work..."
"Yeah, same here in Venezuala."
"You went to Venezuala, isn´t it dangerous there?"
"Oh no, it was fine, plus the people I was living with really looked after me."
"Oh yeah, same here, they were really cool."
"As a matter of fact, I´m probably moving there."
"Really?"
"Yeah, the village I stayed in have made me their chieftan."
"Ah, I see..."
"In fact, they worship me as a diety incarnate..."
"..."
"...and they sacrificed a virgin for me."
"Just the one?"
"?"
"Well, in the place I stayed in they built a fifty-foot tall statue of me, in gold, sacrificed ten virgins, two cows, and a cat."
"Well, I say one virgin, it was more like all the virgins they could round up actually."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And the president of the country has commissioned an opera of my life story. And I underwent an ancient initiation ceremony where they cut off my head and pickled it in a jar before a witch doctor sewed it back on chanting my name."
"So where are you heading next then?"
"Home, you?"
"Yeah, home."
"What are you going to do?"
"Dunno, temp for a while maybe."